LAKEHURST, NJ — A man who spooked his friend by pulling out his own teeth with a pair of pliers was arrested Sunday after he allegedly broke several items in her apartment when she called police.

Darrel Vandervort, 49, was charged with criminal mischief and resisting arrest after officers responded to the Pine Street apartment of a female friend of his, Sgt. Ronald Heinzman said.

Vandervort allegedly sprayed blood inside the apartment while removing his own teeth, Heinzman said, and the woman – whose name was not released – called police. Officer Jeffery Emmons charged Vandervort, of Lakehurst, after he allegedly broke multiple items inside the apartment, Heinzman said.

He was lodged at Ocean County Jail in lieu of $2,500 bail with no 10 percent payment option. Sgt. Gary Lowe assisted Emmons in making the arrest.

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LAKE WORTH, FL — A burglar early this morning clambered over a backyard fence on a quiet block on the city’s west side. He picked the wrong house. 

He made it maybe a couple of steps before Rettt the dog, a mixture of Rottweiler and Doberman pinscher, charged, tearing the intruder’s shirt from his back in a growling, ferocious attack. 

Jose Pasquale - Drunk burglar.

This gave homeowner Robert E. Thompson, 91, time to jump out of bed, grab his gun, a .38-caliber revolver loaded with hollow-point bullets, and to phone the police. 

Then he went out back to let the guy know how he felt about home invaders. He raised the gun and shouted out in the darkness. He thought there might be three or four of them. He didn’t care.

“The funny part was I didn’t have any clothes on,” said Thompson, a World War II veteran who was awarded a Purple Heart during combat tours in Europe. “I was standing out there with a .38 in my hand, and I was stark naked.” 

Already terrified of the dog, the burglar, who looked to be no older than 20, took a step toward the nude 91-year-old, and that was it for Thompson.

“I fired a warning shot,” he said, and the burglar froze. “I wasn’t going to let the guy get within six or eight feet of me. He spoke only Spanish, and I couldn’t understand anything he was saying. I think he was more scared than I was, really.”

And so they stayed that way, the hapless young burglar, who appeared, authorities said later, to be very drunk, and the naked old homeowner, his head cool, his revolver leveled, until Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies showed up. 

Thompson would’ve made it out of the whole ordeal completely unscathed if, when the deputies told him to drop the gun, it hadn’t accidentally gone off, sending a tiny bullet fragment ricocheting off the concrete pool deck and into Thompson’s right shin. 

He barely felt it, but the deputies called paramedics and insisted he get checked out at Delray Medical Center. He was back home by midday, recounting the incident. 

The burglar, who identified himself as Jose Pasqual, 26, of no fixed address was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail on a burglary charge. 

“I have a real bad feeling about these guys. I don’t tolerate them. I would’ve shot him if he kept coming,” Thompson said. “You’ve got to protect yourself.”

Sheriff: Holy Crap. A dude you definitely do not wanna mess with – and that at 91!

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Taiwanese police have arrested a 22-year-old man who stabbed a nurse during a bungled robbery last week, then returned to profess his love for her. 

The man stabbed the 18-year-old woman in the back before repenting and taking her to the hospital for treatment. 

“When I noticed how lovely you look, I changed my mind,” he wrote in a love note he placed on the nurse’s scooter, apologizing and offering compensation. 

Police arrested the unnamed man as he waited for the nurse to return. 

“The suspect was caught as he tried to express his love for the victim,” said a police officer accompanying the woman, who was not seriously injured. 

“It wasn’t a routine case,” the officer in Taiwan’s Miaoli county told various news agencies. 

Local reports said the unnamed man had stolen her wallet, which contained 56 Taiwanese dollars, less than $2 (£1).

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SHREVEPORT, La. – A man impersonating an officer with a flashing red light in his car has been arrested after he pulled over the wrong driver — the mayor of Shreveport, La., police said.

Police think the suspect was using the in-dash light to maneuver through traffic Monday night in northwest Louisiana.

Shreveport Mayor Cedric Glover said he pulled over when the driver pulled up behind him, but that the man turned around and left as soon as he saw it was the mayor.

Mayor of Shreveport

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New York, NY – (NYPOST)

There was nothing artful about this crime.

A Brooklyn couple was busted trying to sell a painting stolen off the wall of a Manhattan museum to an undercover cop, authorities said.

Denis Ryjenko, 35, and his girlfriend, Natella Croussouloudis, 42, were arrested Sept. 3 as they tried to unload a small masterpiece, “Himalayas,” by the prolific early 20th-century Russian artist Nicholas Roerich. One of them even told the “buyer” the painting was hot and warned him not to hang it on his gallery wall. The $125,000 painting had disappeared along with a second work by Roerich on June 24.

The second piece — titled “Talung Monastery” and worth $70,000 — was mysteriously returned by mail to the Nicholas Roerich Museum on West 107th Street on Aug. 14. But investigators caught wind that the couple had “Himalayas” when an informant told them the pair had been showing it off in their Midwood apartment, saying they were hoping to sell it for $40,000.

The informant told the couple he would help introduce them to a buyer, who was actually an undercover officer posing as an art collector. 

On Sept. 3, Ryjenko and Croussouloudis — carrying the painting in a blue paper shopping bag — traveled to a Lower East Side Starbucks to meet with the detective, police said. While Ryjenko waited outside, Croussouloudis met with the phony collector and asked for $20,000 for the painting. She even warned him that the work of art had been stolen and that he would be unable to freely display it in his gallery, police said. 

The cop then asked her to come with him to his gallery where he would give her the money. As she and Ryjenko walked with him up Allen Street, they were arrested. A law-enforcement source said the couple denied having stolen the painting.

But Ryjenko, who has a long criminal record, pleaded guilty in Manhattan Criminal Court yesterday to criminal possession of stolen property in return for four months in jail.

“I knew it was stolen,” he told Judge Anthony Ferrara. “I didn’t know if it was real or not.”

Croussouloudis, who is a German national, according to Correction Department records, waived her appearance and was held on $20,000 bail.

The landlord of the building where the two had been living said they owed $7,500 back rent and had recently had their power and gas shut off for failure to pay their bills.

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A PERVERT who gets sexual thrills from manure was jailed after being caught pleasuring himself in a muck-spreader.

Weird David Truscott, 40, broke into a farm and covered himself in animal waste.

Arrested in England for 'playing' in manure!

He then climbed into the spreader vehicle – and was found wearing rubber gloves and playing in the slurry for “sexual reasons”. Truscott, of Camborne, Cornwall, was jailed for 16 weeks after admitting harassment.

Truro Magistrates’ Court heard he was convicted of a previous offence at the same farm in Camborne in 2004.

At that time, the farmer came across a trough filled with dung and tissues scattered around. He then saw two hand prints and a “bottom print” where manure had been. Police who searched Truscott’s home found 360 pairs of women’s knickers and containers of liquid sludge and hard mud.

He was jailed for three years for burglary and arson after causing a blaze at the farm which killed a cow when he couldn’t find manure to pleasure himself in.

He would walk into the farm to roll in manure and perform sex acts on himself before washing in a cattle trough. Once he entered a milking parlour to use a roll of industrial toilet tissue. He had stripped to his pants and climbed into a manure vat.

Police caught him carrying a bag full of underwear, women’s trousers and firelighters. The farmer’s wife and two children said they were “terrified”.

The 2004 blaze caused damage costing £3,300. His lawyers said he was a “sad, isolated, peculiar man with peculiar habits” who “needed help”.

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(Wellford, SC)—The Mayor of Wellford is defending her policy which bans police officers in that city from chasing suspects. Sallie Peake says the policy also includes vehicle chases along with pursuits on foot. 

A memo issued on September 2nd from Peake to all Wellford officers reads:

“As of this date, there are to be no more foot chases when a suspect runs. I do not want anyone chasing after any suspects whatsoever.“

WSPA first reported the mandate on Wednesday after an anonymous citizen faxed a copy of the memo to our newsroom. Peake was out of town and unavailable for comment. On Friday, reporter Chris Cato caught up with her in her office and questioned her about the origin of the policy. Peake says she issued the mandate because several officers have been injured during chases, driving up insurance costs for the town.

Click here to view the embedded video.

“The officers are costing us more money on insurance than most citizens here in the city of Wellford are even earning,“ says Peake.

She says the city is paying out $20,000 annually in workers’ compensation claims, much of it due to the police force. In July, two officers wrecked their cruisers while chasing suspects and had to go to the hospital for minor treatment. The police chief says three officers have been injured during foot chases in the last two years.

Spartanburg County Sheriff Chuck Wright says the policy prevents police from upholding the law—a direct violation of their constitutional oath.

“If a bank robber or a drunk driver or a shoplifter or somebody with a warrant runs on foot, it’s our obligation to do what we can do to bring them to justice,“ says Wright.

But when we asked Peake about her order impeding an officer from stopping a crime in progress, she became defensive and irate. The conversation went as follows:

Reporter: “Are you telling your officers if they witness a crime – they witness someone commit a crime on someone else and they’re ten yards away – they can’t go stop that person?“

Peake: “Is that in there?“ (referring to policy)

Reporter: “It says no chases whatsoever.“

Peake: “Well, that’s what I said, no chases, didn’t I? I didn’t say nothing about a crime. If you see a crime, this that and the other -“

Reporter: “Well, that’s what a chase is – “

Peake: “Well, I told them no chase on foot, and (the police chief) know exactly what I mean, so you’re trying to twist what I -“

Reporter: “No, I’m not. You said no chases. No chases means no chases.“

Peake: (claps hands) “You got you a story, thank God! You are so sweet! You got you a story on a woman in Wellford! Hallelujah! I’m so proud of you, Mr. Cato!“

Wellford Police Chief Chris Guy has told his officers to abide by the policy. He says they can still protect the public.

“Just because a suspect may run does not mean we can’t identify them, sign warrants, and catch them later,“ says Guy.

But Sheriff Wright says when a suspect gets away, there is always the chance he could hurt someone before officers catch up with him.

Peake says that won’t happen in Wellford.

Here’s hoping the arm of the law really is long.

Sheriff: Wow, those cops are good, or that mayor is VERY stupid. But hey, we all elect stupid people from time to time huh.

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“I had to get us out of this,” the elderly man said Friday from the other side of the glass at San Diego central jail. “I’ve never done a bad thing in my life. But when you get desperate, I guess you throw all that sh– out the window.” 

Attempted to rob bank, to pay mortgage.

Listening to how Michael Casey Wilson of Santee tells it, a 17 percent mortgage, the threat of homelessness and a terminal health condition will turn a man to crime. 

Wilson, 69, is accused of walking into the Bank of America branch in the 4100 block of El Cajon Boulevard in City Heights and handing a bank manager a demand note, saying he had a bomb. Prosecutors said he made off with $107,000 before he was caught lying on a front porch near the bank. 

“I wrote them an apology. I am so sorry,” he said referring to the employees who rushed out of the bank. “It’s not my purpose in life to scare people.” 

“If it would’ve worked the way I wanted it to, it would’ve just been he and I. But he told everybody. He shouldn’t have done that,” Wilson said.

On Thursday he pleaded not guilty to three counts of robbery and one count of falsely reporting a bomb to a business. In an interview Friday, Wilson was very open about the plan he had hatched to save his home.

“I was hoping to get $50,000 to pay off my mortgage,” he said. “Just to get the money and get the hell out of there.”

Wilson said he had planned to hail a taxi and drive with the bank manager to the airport. Once the manager was gone, Wilson said he had hoped to pick up another taxi to take him to his home in Santee. But he said he never thought the bank manager “had the balls to call the police.”

“I saw all of a sudden all the people rushing out and I knew I was had,” he said. “I knew that he had called me in. C’est la vie.”

Wilson said he lives with his 73-year old wife who he described as a “gentle soul.” He said he feared for her future living on the streets if he couldn’t make their house payment.

Looking at Wilson, you can see his health is suffering. He claims doctors have diagnosed him with severe arthritis, sleep apnea, heart problems, and a disease he described as one “that makes you fly off the handle.” Wilson said he was told he had one to two years to live.

When he hatched the bank robbery plan, he said that he had considered the consequences but thought, “It was 50-50. Well if I get caught, I get caught. I’m dying anyway so what different does it make.”

Wilson could face more than seven years in prison if he is convicted. His bail was set at $50,000.

“I’m an asshole. Let’s face it,” he said. “Here’s a man who f–ked up his life and his family’s life but I did it with good intentions. Just stupid intentions.”

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ARG Matey!

The event, celebrated every September 19 for about the last decade, has its own web site and its own Facebook fan site with nearly 7,000 fans.

International talk like a pirate day

There are more than 1,500 Talk Like A Pirate videos on YouTube and more than 10 million websites dedicated to the phenomenon.

The event was created in 1995 John Baur and Mark Summers, from Oregon, decreed observers of the holiday would greet each other with ‘Ahoy, me hearty!’.

The holiday gained traction when Miami-based columnist Dave Barry gave it a nod in 2002.

As well as the usual “Arrrs!” and “Ayes!” in conversation, observers of the event are expected to be familiar with a vast lexicon of pirate jargon, much of it dating back to the 17 the century.

In Britain, dozens of pirate events are being held around the country include a CAMRA Pirate Pub Crawl in Nottinghamshire, a children’s pirate party in Gloucestershire and a 50p rum drinks promotion at a pub in London.

The official British representative of the Pirate holiday is Mad Cap’n Tom who was last year elected President of the University of York Students’ Union and carried out his duties in character.

Many of this year’s events are in aid of Marie Curie Cancer Care.

A proper pirate would know the following words:

Avast! — Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, “Whoa! Get a load of that!”

Beauty — The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in, “C’mere, me beauty,” or even, “me buxom beauty,” to one particularly well endowed.

Grog — An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer

Smartly — Do something quickly.

Sheriff: Ok, This Pirate day sounds like it could be fun. However, how do you translate ARRRGGHHH Matey into Somalian?

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