Worlds Tallest Dog - TITAN!

LOS ANGELES – The Guinness Book of World Records officially says an ailing 4-year-old Great Dane named Titan from San Diego is the world’s tallest dog.

Owner Diana Taylor says Titan is blind, deaf, epileptic and undergoes acupuncture and chiropractic adjustments every three weeks.

He is also a gentle soul who is often mistaken by young children as a horse.

The announcement came during a ceremony Thursday.

Taylor says Titan stands 42.25 inches from floor to shoulder, weighs 190 pounds and doesn’t stand on his hind legs because it isn’t good for him.

Titan took over the title from Gibson, a 7-year-old harlequin Great Dane from Grass Valley who died earlier this year after battling bone cancer.

Sheriff: Dog – acupuncture? Now I think I have heard almost every stupid thing there is to hear. I am almost ready to send my dogs to the psychiatrist so they can deal with their height deprivation complex!

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LAKEHURST, NJ — A man who spooked his friend by pulling out his own teeth with a pair of pliers was arrested Sunday after he allegedly broke several items in her apartment when she called police.

Darrel Vandervort, 49, was charged with criminal mischief and resisting arrest after officers responded to the Pine Street apartment of a female friend of his, Sgt. Ronald Heinzman said.

Vandervort allegedly sprayed blood inside the apartment while removing his own teeth, Heinzman said, and the woman – whose name was not released – called police. Officer Jeffery Emmons charged Vandervort, of Lakehurst, after he allegedly broke multiple items inside the apartment, Heinzman said.

He was lodged at Ocean County Jail in lieu of $2,500 bail with no 10 percent payment option. Sgt. Gary Lowe assisted Emmons in making the arrest.

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Japanese speed-eating legend Takeru Kobayashi defeated his arch-rival and reigning champ Joey Chestnut to reclaim the world hamburger eating title today at the Krystal Square Off World Hamburger Eating Championship in Chattanooga, Tenn. The 31-year-old from Japan earned a score of 93 Krystal hamburgers in eight minutes, setting a world record under a new no-dunking rule established by The Krystal Company. Chestnut, of San Jose, Calif., finished second with 81.

Kobayashi champion again. Dethrones Joey Chestnut for Burger Eating Champion!

Kobayashi’s victory over Chestnut today before a live televised audience and a crowd of more than 10,000 puts him back on top of the sport he brought into the American mainstream more than eight years ago, only to see his star fall the past three years following several high-profile losses, including a loss to Chestnut at last year’s championship in Chattanooga.

“We knew today’s Krystal Square Off championship was going to be a battle for the ages with Kobayashi hoping to reclaim his glory and Chestnut defending his two-year reign as champ, and both eaters did not disappoint,” said Brad Wahl, vice president of marketing, The Krystal Company. “Kobayashi’s commanding win over Chestnut proved once again why he is the sport’s biggest star.”

“Kobayashi came into Chattanooga needing a win. He got it and then some,” said Richard Shea, president of Major League Eating, the governing body of all stomach-centric sports. “The 12 Krystal margin revives his rivalry with Joey Chestnut and caps what was a great Krystal Square Off season. At the end, Kobayashi seemed to hit his head on the ceiling of his own self worth; lucky for him the faux hawk provided cushion.”

Presented by The Krystal Company, the Krystal Square Off is the only world hamburger eating championship sanctioned by Major League Eating.

Kobayashi has now won the Krystal Square Off four of its six years. He pockets $20,000 for the victory, along with the coveted Krystal Square Off Champion’s Belt and Trophy made out of crystal. Chestnut earns $10,00 for his second place finish. Patrick Bertoletti, who finished third with 76, takes away $5,000. The remaining finalists receive payouts ranging from $3,000 to $500. The $50,000 total cash purse is the largest in competitive eating.

The Krystal Square Off introduced new rules this year that forced competitors to change their strategies. First, eaters were no longer allowed to dunk their hamburgers in liquid in an effort to eliminate “detritus” during the competition. Also new this year, every eater was given five Big Angus Burgers at the start of the competition in addition to their tray of Krystal hamburgers. Each Big Angus Burger consumed added five hamburgers to an eater’s total count.

The official results are as follows:

• Takeru Kobayashi, Tokyo, Japan – 93 (68 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers*)
• Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, San Jose, Calif. – 81 (56 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Pat “Deep Dish” Bertoletti, Chicago, Ill. – 76 (51 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• “Humble” Bob Shoudt, Philadelphia, Pa. – 71 (46 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas, Alexandria, Va. – 65 (40 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Hall “Hoover” Hunt, Jacksonville, Fla. – 60 (35 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Tim “Eater X” Janus, New York, N.Y. – 59 (34 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Erik “The Red” Denmark, Seattle, Wash. – 58 (33 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Tim “Gravy” Brown, Chicago, Ill. – 52 (27 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Jim “Buffalo” Reeves – 50 (25 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Eric “Badlands” Booker, Long Island, N.Y. – 47 (22 Krystals, 5 Big Angus Burgers)
• Tyler Allen, Chattanooga, TN – 8 (8 Krystals, 0 Big Angus Burgers)

* Each Big Angus Burger equals five Krystal hamburgers

Krystal has been hosting eating contests ever since it first opened its doors in 1932. Indeed, Krystal’s second customer, Roy Ward, claimed he could eat twice as many Krystals as French Jenkins, the chain’s first customer. He did just that by eating 12 Krystals, and according to legend invented the famous Krystal Sackful in the process. The years have passed, but Krystal Lovers have never stopped challenging each other to Krystal Eating Contests. This longstanding tradition became official in 2004 with the first Krystal Square Off World Hamburger Eating Championship.

Story from: Krystal Sqare-off Official Website

Sheriff: Kobayashi is a God in the competitive eating world! Still, nobody can understand how that little skinny dude can do it. Freak of nature!! Also to knock down that many “fake Belly bombs” – I would not want to be anywhere near for the next few days! See our story here on Stupid Patrol on the Burrito Eating champ – who finished 4th in this competition.

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Boris Yeltsin got so drunk during a 1995 visit to Washington that Secret Service agents found him a few hundred feet from the White House clad only in his underwear and trying to hail a cab — because, he explained, he wanted a pizza. 

The encounter and near international incident involving the former Russian President was revealed yesterday in a new oral history of Bill Clinton’s presidency, based on 79 taped interviews between Mr Clinton and the historian Taylor Branch during late-night visits to the White House. 

The taped conversations took place between 1993 and 2001 — the year Mr Clinton left office — and were the former President’s idea, because he wanted an intimate, behind-the-scenes perspective on his White House years as they were happening.

Mr Clinton also confided that his affair with Monica Lewinsky occurred when he felt sorry for himself and that “I cracked; I just cracked” under the pressure of personal and political setbacks, including the death of his mother and the loss of Congress to the Republicans in 1994.

Mr Clinton had at first been reluctant to talk about the Lewinsky affair because he feared that the tapes might be subject to subpoena and exposure and used against him. Yet, according to Mr Branch, in August 1999 — six months after he had survived the Senate impeachment trial — an emotional Mr Clinton opened up.

In an interview with USA Today, Mr Branch said he believed that Mr Clinton “had once strayed more often than that and made a big resolution not to do it in the White House because there was too much at stake”. He added: “From his point of view, he succeeded 99 per cent, but then felt sorry for himself and lapsed.”

Mr Branch, who shared a flat with Mr Clinton when they ran George McGovern’s 1972 presidential campaign in Texas, has turned the tapes into a 707-page book, The Clinton Tapes: Wrestling History with the President, to be published next week.

The Yeltsin incident came after one of the former Russian President’s late-night drinking sessions. On the night in question, he was staying at Blair House, the guest quarters for foreign leaders visiting Washington, which sits directly across from the White House in Pennsylvania Avenue.

He managed to give his Secret Service detail the slip. Frantically looking for him, they found him in his underwear on Pennsylvania Avenue trying to get a taxi. He explained in slurred words that he wanted a pizza.

Mr Clinton recorded all his conversations with Mr Branch and kept the tapes hidden in a White House sock drawer. They also reveal a two-hour argument between Mr Clinton and Al Gore after the latter had lost the 2000 election to George W. Bush.

Mr Clinton told Mr Gore that the election could have been won if he had been dispatched to campaign in Arkansas and New Hampshire, states where Mr Clinton was popular.

Mr Gore responded that Mr Clinton’s affair with Ms Lewinsky had been a “drag” that had plagued him throughout the doomed campaign. The two “exploded” at each other in mutual recrimination, according to Mr Branch.

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LAKE WORTH, FL — A burglar early this morning clambered over a backyard fence on a quiet block on the city’s west side. He picked the wrong house. 

He made it maybe a couple of steps before Rettt the dog, a mixture of Rottweiler and Doberman pinscher, charged, tearing the intruder’s shirt from his back in a growling, ferocious attack. 

Jose Pasquale - Drunk burglar.

This gave homeowner Robert E. Thompson, 91, time to jump out of bed, grab his gun, a .38-caliber revolver loaded with hollow-point bullets, and to phone the police. 

Then he went out back to let the guy know how he felt about home invaders. He raised the gun and shouted out in the darkness. He thought there might be three or four of them. He didn’t care.

“The funny part was I didn’t have any clothes on,” said Thompson, a World War II veteran who was awarded a Purple Heart during combat tours in Europe. “I was standing out there with a .38 in my hand, and I was stark naked.” 

Already terrified of the dog, the burglar, who looked to be no older than 20, took a step toward the nude 91-year-old, and that was it for Thompson.

“I fired a warning shot,” he said, and the burglar froze. “I wasn’t going to let the guy get within six or eight feet of me. He spoke only Spanish, and I couldn’t understand anything he was saying. I think he was more scared than I was, really.”

And so they stayed that way, the hapless young burglar, who appeared, authorities said later, to be very drunk, and the naked old homeowner, his head cool, his revolver leveled, until Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies showed up. 

Thompson would’ve made it out of the whole ordeal completely unscathed if, when the deputies told him to drop the gun, it hadn’t accidentally gone off, sending a tiny bullet fragment ricocheting off the concrete pool deck and into Thompson’s right shin. 

He barely felt it, but the deputies called paramedics and insisted he get checked out at Delray Medical Center. He was back home by midday, recounting the incident. 

The burglar, who identified himself as Jose Pasqual, 26, of no fixed address was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail on a burglary charge. 

“I have a real bad feeling about these guys. I don’t tolerate them. I would’ve shot him if he kept coming,” Thompson said. “You’ve got to protect yourself.”

Sheriff: Holy Crap. A dude you definitely do not wanna mess with – and that at 91!

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SHREVEPORT, La. – A man impersonating an officer with a flashing red light in his car has been arrested after he pulled over the wrong driver — the mayor of Shreveport, La., police said.

Police think the suspect was using the in-dash light to maneuver through traffic Monday night in northwest Louisiana.

Shreveport Mayor Cedric Glover said he pulled over when the driver pulled up behind him, but that the man turned around and left as soon as he saw it was the mayor.

Mayor of Shreveport

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A PERVERT who gets sexual thrills from manure was jailed after being caught pleasuring himself in a muck-spreader.

Weird David Truscott, 40, broke into a farm and covered himself in animal waste.

Arrested in England for 'playing' in manure!

He then climbed into the spreader vehicle – and was found wearing rubber gloves and playing in the slurry for “sexual reasons”. Truscott, of Camborne, Cornwall, was jailed for 16 weeks after admitting harassment.

Truro Magistrates’ Court heard he was convicted of a previous offence at the same farm in Camborne in 2004.

At that time, the farmer came across a trough filled with dung and tissues scattered around. He then saw two hand prints and a “bottom print” where manure had been. Police who searched Truscott’s home found 360 pairs of women’s knickers and containers of liquid sludge and hard mud.

He was jailed for three years for burglary and arson after causing a blaze at the farm which killed a cow when he couldn’t find manure to pleasure himself in.

He would walk into the farm to roll in manure and perform sex acts on himself before washing in a cattle trough. Once he entered a milking parlour to use a roll of industrial toilet tissue. He had stripped to his pants and climbed into a manure vat.

Police caught him carrying a bag full of underwear, women’s trousers and firelighters. The farmer’s wife and two children said they were “terrified”.

The 2004 blaze caused damage costing £3,300. His lawyers said he was a “sad, isolated, peculiar man with peculiar habits” who “needed help”.

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Mickey Dee's next incarnation!

Would you like some drugs with that?

 A Charleston, S.C., teen says he was given a loaded handgun and bags of marijuana in his McDonald’s drive-thru order, WCSC-TV reports. The 18-year-old and his cousin received the .45-caliber handgun and the pot on Aug. 29 at a McDonald’s on Savannah Highway.

“The gun and the marijuana was inside of a brown bag sitting inside of a McDonald’s bag,” said Kathy Rivera, the mother of the teen. “And they noticed they had three bags, and there were only two people in the car, so when he opened it, he noticed it.”

 The gun and drugs were meant for the car behind theirs in the drive-thru line, police said. The car followed the young men to a gas station, where one man approached the teen and demanded he give them the McDonald’s bags, which the teen did. He told his mother about the incident the next day, and she contacted the restaurant.

 A police report was filed. Charleston police state they’re still investigating, though no arrests have been made.

Sheriff: So the question here is – We have all received at times a bag of Stupidity in Drive Thru’s. Food order not complete, extra stuff given. What was the stupidest thing you ever got with your order?

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Video: Ernie Anastos F-Bomb & Chicken Combo On Air

Ernie Anastos with co-anchor Dari Alexander during last night's Fox Channel 5 newscast. He seems to utter a particularly offensive four-letter word, as the look on her face might indicate.

Veteran NYC news anchor Ernie Anastos, who currently appears on MyFoxNY (channel 5)’s 5 p.m. and 10 p.m. broadcasts, spiced things up last night. Gawker explains, “Perhaps overloaded by transitive small talk between the weather report and a commercial break, Anastos — who once said ‘dot cock’ on live television — told meteorologist Nick Gregory that ‘it takes a tough man to make a tender forecast,’ and then, to the utter shock and appall of his co-anchor, Dari Alexander continued, ‘Keep fucking that chicken.’” Huh?

Click here to view the embedded video.

More people probably saw this video clip than the original moment. Some people viewing the clip wondered if Anastos meant to say plucking, but, it came out wrong.

Either way, the tape sure sounds like he’s saying the f-word.

Whether he said it, meant to say it, or it was another word uttered that came out sounding like the f-bomb, matters little at this point, it is still funny as F***!

What is funnier is the reaction of co-anchor Dari Alexander, whose eyes bug out and she grimaces a bit, sort of confirming she just heard the f-bomb.

Still weird! Last year, WNBC (now NBC New York!)’s Sue Simmons dropped the f-bomb during an off-camera live read promotion (but not during the actual newscast), “What the fuck are you doing?!” She appeared on the next day’s broadcast

Sheriff: Hey I can understand. Anything for ratings! and come on – nowdays what’s a little F-Bomb – especially after seeing what’s on cable! Lemme get back to plucking chickens here – and for all that know what I mean …”Have a NICE day!”

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