Daily Stupid Joke – October 7, 2009

Sheriff: Enjoy. We are currently working on extensive development of new sections of the Stupid Patrol. Check back often to see the changes – including a New Stupid Jokes area, a stupid video’s section and a Stupid Games area.

First Class Blondie

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one.

The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach. The blonde replies, “I’m young, blonde and beautiful, and I’m going to sit here all the way to LA.”

Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.

 Again, the blonde replies, “I’m young, blonde and beautiful, and I’m going to sit here all the way to LA.

“The captain doesn’t want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot.

The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde’s ear.

She immediately gets up, says, “Thank you so much,” hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.

He replies, “I just told her that the first class section isn’t going to LA.”

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Daily Stupid Joke – September 30, 2009

Sheriff: Happy Wednesday! Yeah I know…another Blonde joke, stop picking on blondes…I hear it all the time. And yes, I know “not all Blondes are stupid you know” – I hear it all the time. Unfortunately I hear it from blondes, who, well, ummmm – lets just say that they shouldn’t say what they can’t spell. Annnnnnnyway: Today’s joke is:

Ice Fishing

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.

So the man calmly says,

“Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”

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Daily Stupid Joke – September 25, 2009

The Blonde Swimmer

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach.  They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English Channel.

After some discussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so they set off swimming.

One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn’t be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.

After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. “What took you so long?” asked  the Redhead.

“There were some strong currents out there! But I’m here now! Am I the last?” replied the Brunette.

“No. Blondie is still out there somewhere.” They decided to wait.

Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde “What took you so long?”

“What do you expect? You guy’s cheated, replied the blonde, “You used your hands!”

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Daily Stupid Joke – September 11, 2009

The Plaid Dildo

The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. 

”How much for the white one?” 

“$10.”

”How much for the black one?” 

”$20.”

 She buys the white one. A little later, another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. 

Next a Blonde comes in for a dildo. She asks about the price of the white one, the black one and then asks “OOOHHHH How about that pretty plaid one.”

The employee tells her $250, and she promptly buys it. 

The proprietor finally gets back and asks how things went. 

“Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got $250 for your thermos!”

 Comment by The Sheriff: OUUUUUCH!

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